Scenes so far

Well hey there…

Besides blabbing about big important things yesterday, I did manage to make it from Ontario to Ohio in one piece.

Yesterday morning, besides blogging, I taught tri club spin. I also nom nom nomed a large bowl of coleslaw and pork with an apple.

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I tossed some snacks in my bag for this weekend.

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I made it to Sarnia, where I snarfed a quick snack that made me think of overnight oats–without the oats. It was nut butter, a banana, some raisins, and a bit of chocolate.

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When we got to Columbus, we had dinner (Applebee’s — a salad and a dish that I basically modified to shrimp and veggies :)!) and then checked out the biggest outdoor mall I’ve ever been to. The lululemon was amazing there — huge, with a friendly staff. I was overwhelmed so this was more of a look around trip than a shopping trip.

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We finally made it to the hotel, tired and ready for bed. Our room is really nice–we bought it on Priceline, so we’re not paying as much as we “should”–so bedtime was awesome!

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Breakfast was too–even if my picture doesn’t do it justice. Omelet with ham, onions, and spinach. Plus potatoes and an apple and bacon. I think my new dietary goal is to eat bacon and dark chocolate on a daily basis…the BCs of good nutrition?

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And now it’s time to hit the road and go learn my face off.

🙂

To fire me up…

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More on sabotage

You read my take on self-sabotage, now read Stephanie’s post on how to overcome it!

It blew my mind. Did she know she took the words right out of my mouth?

“For whatever reason, we’ve got something in our brain telling us we can’t do it.  We aren’t good enough.  We aren’t worthy.  ‘I am not lovable, and I will never be lovable.  People don’t love me, and that’s that.’   ‘I binged last week.  I don’t deserve to be thin.”  “I can’t get my shit together.  Maybe that means I’m not supposed to.  I never can.  I never will.  I am going to be this way forever.”

And then said exactly what I needed to hear?

Be you, but be you excellently.

Do not be afraid to do it.  You are beautiful, you are yourself, you have nothing to fear in yourself and others.  No one is going to laugh at you if you fall.  And if they do– fuck ‘em!  It’s not worth your attention.  Your attention is better left for positivity in your life and in others.  Your growth is powerful for your soul.   It’s powerful for your friends.  It’s powerful for the universe.”

She also quoted my same quote from Marianne Williamson. I think we’re onto something…

Live big, guys. Don’t hold yourself back!

 

Word vomit warning

Like I said, fair warning and a reminder that I blog without a filter.

If you think I should be somewhere between Ontario and Ohio right now, you’re right. And I swear I will pack and get my shit together as soon as I get my real shit together…

I have a theory that honesty is the best policy. I’m seriously inspired by Andrea Owen’s latest post--she’s a seriously amazing woman with an awesome blog that inspires me all the time. She’s a life coach…and she was an alcoholic. But she opened up about it. Vulnerability is beautiful.

So here goes…

This week, I’ve been feeling under the weather. Besides clearly catching some kind of bug, I also have to attribute some of this yuck to…myself.

Yuck is right.

I’ve blogged about self sabotage before. I thought I’d left it in my past…

When you realize that your life and your happiness is your responsibility, you’d think your actions would automatically be in your own best interest. As someone who has struggled with feeling like they don’t deserve good things—health, happiness, etc.—I have to admit, I sometimes need a slap in the face and a reminder that at our core, we’re good.

Sometimes like right now.

What the heck am I getting at? This week I overate. Fine. I admitted it along the way. I own it. I was a bit anxious about my certification this weekend—there’s such a thing as stressing over good things (I’m a seasoned pro). But I also let myself down in some other ways I’d rather keep hush hush but refuse to ignore: not making my bed, letting my garbage overflow, not taking care of myself (This is gross–I didn’t brush my teeth last night. I didn’t bother painting my chipped nails for a few days. I like hygiene, I promise). That’s kind of the epitome of not caring about yourself, and that’s something I can’t stand for.

Side note…Why do I share my lows? Because realness is what the world needs. Admitting that I still have struggles acknowledges them. I don’t hide these things from myself anymore and hiding it period just suggests that there’s something to be ashamed of or that something’s wrong. News flash: There’s nothing wrong with having problems. I get hella frustrated with people who keep blogs and clearly lie about how they’re doing. In person, people who put up a front piss me off. Again, there’s nothing wrong with having problems. There is something wrong with pretending—with yourself or with others—that you don’t.

Obviously writing this post means I’ve come to terms with the fact that I was shitty to myself this week. The things I did and thought and told myself I would never ever in a million years have said to a friend. They go against what I stand for and what I know I deserve—all the good in the world. They piss me off more than ever before because I’ve had a taste of what it feels like to let myself be happy…and that’s why I don’t think it’s going to be that hard for me to get back to embracing the good things.

Starting, like, right now.

Certain irrational thoughts I’m dealing with: you’re too fat to be a crossfit trainer. That guy asked you if you’ve done crossfit before because you clearly look like someone who could never have done it. You probably should have went to Columbia when you by some stroke of a miracle got in. You’re totally selling yourself short right now–why don’t you go to grad school? That post on your friend’s facebook wall was clearly directed at you—you’re not recovered, you’re just fat. You better sign up for a race ASAP you lazy pile–last year you were running a half marathon at this time. You thought you were fat in that photo? Check out the mirror. You’re clearly failing hard at this 30 day challenge–chocolate every day? You’re letting everyone down. Your friends aren’t calling you ‘cuz you’re no fun to be with.

Common themes? Fat. Unworthy. etc. etc.

Whose voice is that? ED’s.

What do I do when I see ED?
A) Kick his ass. – Done. I’m recovered. If I find myself bingeing or thinking about food or having fat thoughts, it’s no longer a relapse. It’s a signal that something is off and needs my attention…
B) Ask what he’s trying to tell me.  – That I need to pump my own tires a bit. I’m fit and I’m healthier than ever.I’m making decisions based on what makes me better for the first time in my life. I’m loveable, beautiful, and my true nature is just perfect. The only thing standing in my way of achieving what I want to is me. There’s no one to blame and no one is coming to save me. Any mistakes I’ve made in the past few days have been minor–and the sooner I get over them and stop blaming myself for them, the better. Even if I’m off track, if I learned something, it’s worth it. Etc. etc.

Another thought on ED and eating disorders and why I’m so glad I’m done with mine…Eating disorders are a way of keeping your world small. A way of holding yourself back from the awesome that you’re entitled to. If everything else in your life is perfect, a binge is a perfect distraction from all of that great. Eventually, the eating disorder takes over. You start missing out on the good things you felt guilty for having. There’s a metaphor here, and it’s a big one.

The only way to get out of this kind of thinking is to go ahead and give yourself permission to have all those good things. For me, that looks like going away this weekend and having a fun time with my mom (instead of blaming her for whatever ill I can come up with like I always used to – screaming, crying, etc.). It looks like believing that even if I was 20lbs heavier than I’m “supposed to be”, I’d still deserve to go to this certification and learn and come out a kickass trainer. It looks like trusting that even if the years of abusing my body have left me out of whack, I deserve the healthy things I’m doing now. It looks like assuring myself that I’m better than ever.

There are so many quotes that came to my mind as I cried my face off this morning…

The answer to bingeing isn’t restricting. The answer to feeling fat isn’t coming up with a weight loss plan. The answer to treating yourself like crap isn’t beating yourself up. The answer is changing the way you look at yourself and at the world. It might be nice if all of us who use food as a coping mechanism could just go on a paleo diet, if everyone who compulsively exercised could join a crossfit gym, and so on. But that doesn’t deal with the issue…

I have a really timely article that came up on my facebook feed today to share. It’s Geneen Roth, talking about all of this. Summary:

“What you do with food, you undoubtedly do in the rest of your life. If you don’t take time for yourself, if you don’t value yourself, if you’re not kind to yourself, if you berate, deprive and punish yourself, if you believe you have to achieve in order to be loved, that will be reflected in your relationship with food.”

Own up. Address the real issues. And remember: we all deserve all the good in the world. 

I feel better.

Have you dealt with self-sabotage? 
Did any quotes come to mind?
How do you open up about your problems?

TGIF

My TGIF posts were on hiatus for a bit there, but I keep thinking about how I have so many things bookmarked or wondering how I could share such random things with you…

Solution — in the most random post of my week!

5 links I just want to share

5. The Ultimate Guide To Eating Paleo. I likes.

4. Andrea Owen’s confession post today. A life coach owning up to alcoholism and owning…I love it. Seriously inspired.

3.A blog post about when enough is enough when it comes to losing weight. I like the sentiment — you find your happy weight, you get happy, you own it, you don’t worship some other ideal…win.

2. This surprisingly favourable article about the Paleo approach from Men’s Health. Usually, there are way more caveman references and way more dogma. Props, Men’s Health.

1. This list of maybe goals to consider for Crossfit. Could be totally random, could be a good spot to get some ideas–depends on how you look at it. One thing I know–a “maybe” goal probably won’t happen. So brainstorming is just a first step.

4 wordy awesome pics

4. 

3. 

2. 

1. 

3 things on my “I wanna do this!” list

3. The Brigden Fair. I go mostly for the quality time with my family, the apple cider, and the animals!

2. Halloween Haunting next month. It’s been a while since I’ve done a run. And I like getting dressed up. Last time I did this one, I had my fastest 10k ever. That being said, I was also seriously compulsive about all things exercise then, so any comparison is probably a bust. My motivation for doing it is two-fold, then: 1 to show that I’m badass at this weight (where I get my period and can think straight ;)) and 2 to have an excuse to dress up that doesn’t involve getting sloshed.

1. An Olympic lifting cert in Toronto in November. My trainer crush/buddy in bacon, Sarah, is gonna go so I have extra motivation to sign up.

2 articles worth reading about “cardio”

2. A case against cardio on Mark’s Daily Apple.

1. Friends don’t let friends do cardio on Everyday Paleo.

My take…I don’t think we should stop running, biking, swimming, rowing, skiing…if we love it. But I do think we should stop doing it if it’s a “should” struggle…my aim is to do the stuff I love (trail run, spin, bike, swim with friends, etc.) and then move more in my daily life. Walk to the store, bike to work, etc. Hold me accountable?

1 album that’s gonna make the drive to Ohio a lot more fun

1. The new Mumford & Sons album. Buy it.

And nowwwwww it’s time for me to go get more educated in awesome…see y’all later when I’m all crossfit certified and stuff! 🙂

Slow down sister

Thoughts

Sick Cheryl = sad Cheryl.

Being sick sucks, plain and simple. Whatever my body is dealing with right now knocked me down on my ass.

Buttttt…being kicked down doesn’t mean you stay down.

That being said, I had a little itty bitty shitty moment this morning. Despite a staff meeting with a bunch of fitness instructors (think insanely motivating/chipper people confined in a small area), coffee with my Crossfit idol, and a really nice day…I took some time to whine and complain.

In the midst of my whining and complaining to my mother on the telephone, I hit a big ol’ realization…nobody was gonna save me.

I have a long list of quotes I could go to here — “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” / “We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy–the amount of work is the same.” / etc. etc. — but I’m gonna move on…

I’m responsible for my actions. If I find myself doing things that piss me off, there is no one to blame but myself. That’s tough. But if there’s no one to blame, I’m the one who will be doing the changing. That’s awesome.

I had some quality time with friends today which helped me feel better.

I got a totally kickass surprise from Emily, a pal from West London Crossfit today. When you’re feeling sick, I’m not sure there’s anything better than someone bringing you food. Homemade chili? Amazing!  When you’re a girl, I’m not sure there’s anything better than someone bringing you chocolate. Check! And food for the road? Done! What about badass socks? Those too! A card that makes you feel like a champ? The icing on the paleo cake. 🙂

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Yupppp, I’m spoiled. And in really good company. 🙂

Eats

Today’s eats were random and it’s no wonder I’m feeling a bit out of whack when I’m also sick. Nuts and an apple when I got ravenous this morning. Bacon, chicken, kale, and sprouts with mayo for lunch. A banana before spin tonight. Coleslaw with pork and an apple for dinner. Chocolate for dessert. Coffee left and right.

That being said, I’ll admit that’s pretty typical for me. I think I have small issues with certain foods: nut butter, chocolate, coffee, and gum. I think I should not drink 5 coffees a day (minimum). I don’t think a pack of gum a day is normal. I don’t want to feel bad whenever I “give in” and eat chocolate. I don’t like questioning whether or not I’m overeating nuts/nut butter. I also think I better learn to make my own mayo if I’m going to eat so much of it. I think I’m fully capable of dealing with these baby issues. And I think an important reminder is that compared to before, these are seriously petty problems. I’m kicking ass. I feel a million times better. But feeling a billion would be nice…and is totally do-able.

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Sweats

Luckily I felt better by this afternoon (better’s a relative term). I am really grateful that someone covered my bootcamp class but I still taught spin–no one could cover for me :(. Complaining being done, I had fun even if I took it a bit easier than normal. I had a new playlist, which always help, the microphone worked, and there was a decent sized turnout for the registered class at campus rec. I also did a crossfit workout (telling myself I’d back off, especially on conditioning). It was a pretty easy/low-key day…we squatted, did dips/weighted pushups, tabata handstand-ed, and then rowed 500m. I managed to go sub-2 minutes but I felt it after. Still, progress feels good.

Maybe it was my badass socks..

20120927-193713.jpgIt also feels really good to be in my pajamas right now. Goals for the night: finishing up my Crossfit manual, making a packing list, and getting to bed early since I’ve got a tri club spin class to set my alarm for tomorrow! Here’s hoping I wake up and this cold is a thing of the past…

Do you have any foods that are “issues” for you?
If you’re into Crossfit, are you into socks ;)?
Do you ever find yourself blaming others for your problemos? 

Zonked

I had a kickass day, but it kicked my ass.

The insane urge I have to go to bed right now (it’s 5pm) and the flu-like feeling that came over me in a bit of a wave this afternoon…not so awesome, even if all things point towards great.

Morning

I woke up hungry hungry hungry this morning even though I’d snarfed a can of tuna with some alfalfa sprouts/mayo last night just before bed. Weird bedtime snack? Maybe, but it works for me.

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I filled my belly with a big bowl of coleslaw and a pork chop. Omnomnom. 20120926-170622.jpg

 

This morning I had my re-assessment at Gainsborough Family Chiropractic. The scans I had done 12 visits (approximately 6 weeks ago) versus the ones I had today confirmed what I already felt–things are getting better! I liked the check in and the chance to see how I’m doing in all of the Life By Design elements.

Power by design — I’m clearly moving forwards in this direction! Eating by design is coming more and more easily and I’m adjusting to things. I’m going to add some probiotics and get more on top of things with my vitamin D — easy. Moving by design is a whole lot of fun with the group classes at West London Crossfit–and I’m finding myself more and more drawn to the kinds of things I actually want to do vs. getting caught in the “I have to _______” (go for a swim, run, do cardio, etc.) trap so many of us fall into. Thinking by design is a huge huge huge piece of the puzzle but it’s hugely important, too! The cool thing is, all of the steps in life by design MAKE SENSE, FEEL GOOD, AND WORK TOGETHER! Beauty.

Today I got sucked into a bunch of youtube videos talking about objectivism and to a couple with Ayn Rand speaking…

tidbit:

“Since man’s mind is his basic means of survival…if a man wants to live on earth and to live as a human being, he has to hold reason as an absolute, by which i mean he has to hold reason as his only guide to action and that he must live by the independent judgement of his own mind, that his highest moral purpose is the achievement of his own happiness…each man must live as an end in himself and follow his own rational self interest.” 

Workout

After my visit to the chiropractor, I had a great chat over coffee with a fellow crossfit-coach to be from the SC. We talked a lot about how awesome Life By Design is, about ideas, and about Crossfit (obviously!).

My workout was…nuts.

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Just kidding. I did snarf some as a morning snack, though. Someone leaked today’s WOD and I got excited and busted out my best Crossfit uniform…

Compression socks and short shorts help and I needed all the help I could get. I think I mentioned that the one thing I’m really nervous about this weekend is having to complete Fran. If you’re not familiar, let me introduce you…

For girlies, the weight for the thrusters is 65lbs. The pull-ups are best performed as kipping pull-ups, a skill I’m not yet a master of.

Notice I said yet?

There’s not a doubt in my mind that I’m going to do this in due time…

Bring on the hard work.

General consensus: the WOD looks deceptively easy on paper but…

You get the point.

Scaled–I used a bar and a set of rings for my “pullups”–it was tough but took just over 4 minutes of wanting to quit.

After laying around and breathing as my main focus for a while, I was good to go except for a runny nose that just seemed to wake up with the workout. Aren’t you supposed to sweat things out?! WTF immune system!?

I got a hefty dose of fresh air afterwards with a hike in Komoka with Cheri. We got a bit lost and ended up trekking and chatting for over an hour, but it was great! I could chat with Cheri all day, so this was great and the leaves just keep on getting prettier on the trails…

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Afternoon

After our nature hike, I refuelled with an apple (seriously, my appetite is so off) and then loaded up on Vitamin C. When I didn’t feel instantly better, I moved onto my next best attack: bacon. Joking, but I did eat a bunch because I finally felt hungry this afternoon. I also feel like I’ve got a fever, so I’m taking it easy. I tried to find someone to cover my bootcamp class tonight but no dice. Luckily I can demonstrate without doing a bootcamp class — the beauty of working as a coach instead of being OCD and addicted to exercise like I used to be (i.e. doing every single class, every move, etc.) is that I can do one squat, one deadlift, one pushup, one row, and one burpee and that’s it for my physical requirements! I’m hoping I spring out of bed tomorrow…but this feels a bit like a flu and that blows. Here’s hoping it blows over before my certification this weekend and here’s hoping some kind souls cover my fitness classes tomorrow so I don’t have to spin through snot. Sexy, no?

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kale, turkey, bacon, a bit of mayo = dinner of a queen 😉

What did you do today?
Are you in chiropractic care?
Have you met Fran? 

Starbucks makes the world go round

Hi there…this post is coming at you from Starbucks.

I’m on my third visit today. I have a problem and I’m no longer in denial. My fav phrase–it could be worse, it could be cocaine–applies…no?

Workout

This morning I sprung out of bed (okay, sprung is a strong word) and went to the 6am class at West London Crossfit. I like Tuesdays because on Tuesdays we deadlift. Who doesn’t get excited about picking heavy things up? Today we did just that after some mobility. We worked up to a set of 5 heavy reps–I bumped up my set by 10 pounds this week to 185. Bam. When I was in Grade 8, I weighed 185lbs. Just sayin… Afterwards, the awesome continued with pull-ups. I managed to get 3 in a row for the three sets…not the 10 I have as my goal BUT one more than last year. Hi, progress, I love you! We finished with a 4 minute WOD: row 500m and then do as many double unders as possible within the time. I managed 15 and I think the constant reminders about having fast wrists made the whole move make a little more sense. 🙂

After Crossfit, the sun was rising, I was energized, and I didn’t want to go home. Sooooo I went to Springbank and ran on the path there for about 25 minutes. No music, no worries–this was purely a stress relief, sort out my thoughts kind of run and it did the trick!

Morning

After my workout, the hungries came on strong. I satisfied ’em with some chicken and salsa over kale. I added some cheddar cheese. Then I snarfed an apple. Really exciting, I know.

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I made my way to Starbucks stop #1 of the day and busted out my post about figure competitions/cover models. God it felt good.

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Afterwards, I sat in my car and did an interview for the article I’m working on about the financial realities of self-employment. I’m sure this is a professional thing to do–I’m a writer and I do it all the time! Anyways, I talked to a financial planner from Alberta who was just fired up about how to set yourself up for success. He recommended some books, gave some solid advice, and talked to me for 45 minutes about way more than I was hoping to cover in the article. That’s the beauty of freelance writing–when you’re writing about things you’re interested in, you never know what an interview will bring!

Afternoon

Following the extended interview, I was hungrier than hungry can be. I ate some stale nuts that I keep in my glove compartment and then when I was running (literally) into Loblaws to grab something quick for lunch, a LARA bar mysteriously appeared in my trunk with my shopping bags. Amen to being a food hoarder!

I obviously snarfed it and then I grabbed a spinach salad, some raspberries, and a can of salmon which I ate before I took a photo. I had the company of Sarah and we spent a good few hours at my second Starbucks stop of the day just shooting the shit, for lack of a better description.

20120925-144700.jpgAfterwards, I hustled home and then to the gym for bootcamp. I led the gals through a warmup, squats, deadlifts, rows, pushups, and then some fun wall sits and a cardio countdown (40 jumping jacks, 30 mountain climbers, 20 jump squats, 10 burpees). At least I thought it was fun…I did most of it with ’em and that was a wake up call: I’m sore!

I’m going to sleep in tomorrow since I’m a) sore and b) tired. I ate a shit ton of fruit today and I think it has something to do with being tired and thus craving sugar. I think I’ll keep my training to a class at Crossfit and cut the cardio…though I did get a little reminiscent for the pool when I saw the swim team diving in this afternoon on my way to bootcamp!

Evening

Speaking of sugar, after class I had a sweet visit to Gainsborough. The whole fam jam is back in business and I loved seeing familiar faces, getting my power turned on, and just popping in today. I’m in for my assessment (it’s been about 6 weeks) tomorrow and I’m looking forward to that!

More sugar…I repeated the dog poop for dinner theme from last night, this time with avocado in the mix.

 

20120925-193101.jpgOm nom nom.

Now I’m on round three at Starbucks. Tonight I’m focusing on my Crossfit manual…3 days!

What’s your record for Starbucks visits in a day?
Do you stash food anywhere silly?

 

It figures

I’m fired up, which means one of two things:

  • I drank too much coffee and had a kickass workout (confirmed)

and/or

  • I’ve been keeping something inside and need to get it out

It’s definitely both today.

This might come out as word vomit, but here goes…

I have a problem with figure models. And with girls who say that they’d like to do a figure competition or to be on the cover of Oxygen or any goals along those lines.

I’m not out to crush goals here–so if you’re goal is along those lines, please don’t get pissed off and stop reading…hear me out. The people I have the biggest beef with are the ones who recognize that these kinds of ambitions are unhealthy but aim for them anyways. The people who talk about being healthy and having goals in line with being their best but then admit that the things that go along with achieving their goals aren’t so healthy. It takes a hell of a lot of cognitive dissonance/zoning out to do something that goes against what you say you stand for and doing so can’t possibly benefit your self esteem.

When it comes to this stuff, there are two levels that irk me:

  1. The actual process, often touted as “dedication” and “determination” involved in the whole shebang. We all know what I mean. The dehydration and cutting water that comes at the end of the line for figure competitors. The severe dietary restrictions and the weighing, meticulous counting, and control that goes along with it. The regimented and specific exercise performed for no purpose other than to sculpt and shape a body.
  2. The reproduction of a really unhealthy ideal image of what is healthy/fit. The more we see women like this and associate them with health and fitness, the worse. This is a big issue and not one that we can tackle on our own…or can we?

I’d argue that the “big issues” in society–the focus on unrealistic ideals, for instance–are best tackled on an individual basis.

So…what am I doing?

  • Not buying Oxygen, Muscle & Fitness Hers, Shape, or whatever magazine it is that is going to tell me how to be “healthy”. I’m stepping this up by spending my money on smarter magazines. Have you read The Walrus lately? What about The Atlantic? You might not find “The Secret to 6-pack Abs by Sunday” in there, but you might just finish reading not feeling like shit about yourself or maybe even with something more important than how to ignore the fact that the only way to be healthy is to do healthy things worthwhile to think about.
  • Letting my body do what it wants to do when I do what I want to do. That was a lot of words. I want to be healthy, therefore I do healthy things. Health in my mind is not represented by some outcome–thighs that don’t touch or visible abs or a number on the scale or whatever–but is easily measured in terms of the things I do. Yeah, it took a while to get here–to a point where I actually hold myself accountable and act based in my own interest–but I am concerned with finding a kind of health that is natural (we’re meant to be healthy, kiddos!) and that in itself means I’m finding a long term approach that’s sustainable.
  • Changing my approach to working out. Long gone are the days of bicep curls, slogging away on the elliptical, etc. Welcome the days of doing stuff that I love–trail running, biking, teaching fitness, lifting heavy things, zenning out in yoga, doing handstands and cartwheels, hiking. When I’m lifting, I’m not doing it because I want to look good in a tank top. Pullups might give me guns, but they’re also bad ass and make me feel strong and like I could hop a fence if someone was chasing me. If you want to look good flexing in the mirror, continue with your bicep curls and tricep extensions, but I’ll be having fun doing pushups, pullups, and standing on my hands in the meantime. Remember that time you needed help getting up off the ground? Looks like you should start squatting. Or when you struggled to pick up your groceries the other day? Let me introduce you to the deadlift. Catch my drift?
  • Talking about this. I think there’s something to be said for saying it. If you don’t have your period, you’re not healthy. Your thighs are supposed to touch. You should be able to take a few days off training. Blindly following the advice of anyone is a recipe for disaster–your life is your own and learning to trust yourself makes a lot more sense and is hella empowering. Following an arbitrary diet plan–however “healthy” it might be–will never be as healthy as eating good food on an intuitive basis. Bacon won’t kill you. Supplements can’t take the place of real food. Nobody’s gonna save you–except you.

I probably could have summed this up in a few sentences: If you’re about health, do healthy things.

You can’t be about looking a certain way at all costs and claim to be about health. If you want to be vain and look hot in a bikini as your main goal, do it. But own it and don’t pretend that it’s healthy. If you want to be an example of healthy living, if you want to inspire the masses, PLEASE get real. Be about your actions–every time you eat, read, say, buy something make sure it moves you in the positive direction for the sake of health and happiness–and the outcome will take care of itself. I’ not saying you’ll end up looking like that model, but I am saying you’ll feel like a million bucks. Your self esteem can only benefit from taking care of yourself. And FYI, nobody’s body WANTS to be under or overweight. Give yourself the good food, movement, and attention you deserve and methinks we’d all be rocking hotter bodies.

Let’s take some magazines out of business. And about the figure competitions with ’em? I really would encourage you to NOT buy into that ideal. Stop giving your money to something that promotes something so silly. But more importantly, stop giving something so silly your energy. Find bigger, better goals to shape your hopes and ambitions. Put your effort towards being awesome, not just towards having awesome abs. Get okay with your thighs touching–actually, get more than okay…get excited and then go do some squats and give thunder thighs a new meaning.

Phew.

If you’re a figure model/competitor, why do you do it?
Do you read Oxygen or Women’s Health or any training magazines?

 

Dog poop for dinner

 

Alternate title “Will run for nuts.” — I wonder which one would have gotten more attention?

Dinner 

I didn’t actually have dog poop for dinner, but I did make a bowl that looked a heck of lot like shat.

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banana, cocoa, honey, salt, coconut, almonds, chocolate…um yummmmmm

I blame PaleOMG and my friend’s reply to my facebook post earlier today.

 

Enablers–gotta love ’em! Unfortunately my avocado was not ripe so I just improvised…resourceful, no? I’m just going to admit it–I probably should have had meat and veggies for dinner, especially since I’d already had a nanner this afternoon, but I hate the word should…and what’s done is done! Note to self: don’t eat pudding for dinner on a regular basis if you intend to be a healthy living blogger ;)! Second note to self: do whatever you want.

Afternoon

Besides laundry (which of course is still ongoing–I swear I draw it out because I love it so darn much ;)!), this afternoon I took care of some facebook creeping emails and chores before I met Angela for a reunion/trail run on the trails I hiked with my pals yesterday. At running speed, the ups and downs were a bit more challenging but we took a pretty leisurely pace (thank god Angela’s on her 2 off weeks and is just moving her body for fun right now!) and I was loving being outside in the fall sunshine. We ran for about 50 minutes and I’m estimating that it was about 8km but that might be overshooting it…at any rate, it was challenging, especially after this morning’s squats! 🙂

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After the run, I went to the first meeting for Triathlon Club. Since I’ll be running a cycle session for them every Friday morning, I had to introduce myself. I think showing up smelling extra stinky and without thinking about what to say gave them an accurate impression of who I am…and I can’t remember how I introduced myself but I know I promised them a weekly dose of Britney in their playlist.

After the meeting, I had a good chit chat with a friend I haven’t seen much of yet this year before I finally made it home to the shower and my pudding ;). …now here I am in a chocolatey induced state of relaxation, with some mood lighting thanks to a candle, and with an episode of the Balanced Bites podcast playing in the background. My goals for the night: type my goals, read a section of my crossfit manual, and sleep. Lofty, I know!

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sexy

Do you ever eat dessert for dinner?
Have you ever made an avocado pudding?

Scattered

Back at it.

I’ve missed blogging. A lot. And without it, I feel a bit…scattered.

So hi…

Today is off to a great start. After an admittedly all over the place, somewhat emotional weekend, I’m glad to have a busy week with my new job and my crossfit cert at the end of it to just ooze awesome today. Add to it that it’s a crisp fall day and I’m getting back to my happy level again.

Workout

This morning I rolled out of bed after seriously considering crawling back under the covers (I had a hard time getting to sleep last night) and headed to Crossfit for a 7am class. We started with mobility (surprise surprise ;)!) and then did some squats and presses. I’m impatient so working on my ankle mobility, which is not something that will change overnight, is an exercise in patience. I used 95lbs for our three sets of five today but made sure I got full depth with the plates under my heels. The only way to get to where you wanna be is to start where you are…or something like that! We also did overhead presses (I used 55lbs for three sets of five) and a 7 minute WOD that was AMRAP of 5 pullups (ring rows for me), 10 pushups, and 15 air squats.

AM

This morning I officially started back at lululemon! And this morning was awesome. I had a short 3 hour shift where I signed my contract, reviewed some important stuff, and hung out/flexed my working skills for a bit. To be honest I didn’t really want to come home—and it’s not just because there was laundry here waiting for me—since the people (old faces, new faces) are so positive.

Today there was a lot of talk about goals. Did I mention I love working at lulu? I’m hoping to print my recently updated goals out – there’s a lot more emphasis on personal goals and a broader range of fitness/health goals this time around – later this week. One thing that I do have to admit is that when I hear other people talk about their goals, I kind of want to copy them. You cna look at this two ways — one, it’s inspiring vs. two, it’s insecurity (they’re doing it, I should do it too). While it’s awesome to let people rub off on you, if someone wants to run a marathon and you want to find a balance between yoga, crossfit, teaching spin and bootcamp, trail running, and doing exercise that feels good to you, adding a marathon training plan to your agenda is probably one of those things you’re doing for the wrong reasons…if I sign up for a marathon, puh-leeeeeze schmack me!

All that inspiration translated into me adding even more words to my vision board. I think it’s done, but I thought that the other day. If you haven’t made a vision board, do yourself a favour and make one. Then set some goals. Give yourself a vision to aim for, notice the kinds of images you pull out, and don’t be scared to be ambitious. Play some inspirational music in the background and light some candles while you’re at it…

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Breakfast

This morning’s breakfast was consumed at lightning speed in between Crossfit and lululemon. I wasn’t that hungry—which stressed me out since I feel like I overate all weekend long—but I could feel the hangry approaching so I suffered 😉 through my bacon, eggs, and kale. Toss in some caffeine and I’m set.

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Lunch

After my shift, I was craving something warm. I decided on a piece of chicken, some kale (which I neglected and put back in the fridge afterwards), and a sweet potato with cashew butter and coconut. Om nom nom.

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Now here I am ready to read some more of my crossfit manual (my cert is in four days which is ridiculous). I just watched a video that inspired me:

I took some notes yesterday when I was reading over the manual and the one thing I can’t get over is how much freaking sense the whole thing makes. I do have some questions—luckily there are plenty of knowledgeable people around to ask—and the one thing I have to look out for is questioning what I’m doing right now just because I’m reading things. The though that maybe I should plan my own workouts came to me…but for now I’m going to commit to easing into this with group workouts at Crossfit plus my own teaching schedule and the occasional trail run or swim here and there. Trusting that I’m not going to get out of shape or lose my fitness takes some reminders every once in a while but the best thing for me is to remind myself that when it comes to workouts, I should actually want to do them. Just ‘cuz I have an afternoon off doesn’t mean I should run, but if I want to, I can. Etc. etc.

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The other thing I’ve noticed is myself wanting to passive aggressively cut and paste parts of the training manual to certain people in my life (or in facebook status with the hopes that they’ll see it)…

“Curls, lateral raises, leg extensions, leg curls, flyes, and other body building movements have no place in a serious strength and conditioning program…A distinctive feature of these relatively worthless movements is that they have no functional analog in every day life…” 

The reminder here is that their business is their business and if that business is bicep curls, I shouldn’t read their blog anyways.

BAM.

I’m ending this with a quote that came to my inbox today just in time to comfort me…

“When we feel stuck, going nowhere — even starting to slip backward — we may actually be backing up to get a running start.” — Dan Millman

Happy Monday!

Do you find yourself copying other people’s goals out of “should”? How do you stop yourself?
What are you looking forward to this week?