Friday already? This week has flown by! I’ve got a weekend filled with catching up on sleep, homework (mostly), a volleyball tournament (this oughta be fun!), 14.3 (I love deadlifts!) and working out, and looking at a couple of houses. But first, I’ve got a blog and one more day of March Break camp and playing around with kids all day to keep me busy!
In the post, Molly includes a picture of a little girl in her life. Then she asks:
“Can you imagine looking into the eyes of a precious little girl and telling her that she’s not good enough? Or that she’s not pretty enough? Or that she’s fat?
I would hope not.
So at what point does it become OK to say these things to ourselves? At what age do we stop telling girls that they are wonderful and pretty and perfect and smart and that they can do anything they set their minds to?”
This is where I thought of a picture I keep tacked to my bulletin board.
When I did some body acceptance coaching with Christie Inge, this was the picture I dug out to remind myself to be gentle in my self talk. There’s something so weird about seeing yourself as a kid if you’re used to seeing yourself in any kind of negative light because it sure makes you question any of those ideas that you’re not perfectly imperfect and wonderful. That little girl is not walking away from the camera, she’s sashaying. Strutting. Marching. I love seeing how kids move–they’re not ashamed of themselves or of their bodies.
Like Molly said in her post, we should never stop loving ourselves and my take on this is that we should never stop looking at ourselves as inherently worthy of being loved and giving love to ourselves–even if we’re flawed, even if we have 20lbs to lose, even if we’ve got a disorder, even if we’re in a rough patch.
Molly’s homework was to think about the reasons why your body deserves love. I’d add to that the task of finding a picture of yourself as a little kid and asking why that little kid deserves your love. What you’ll get at are the reasons that you deserve love beyond the accomplishments you’ve made or not made as a big kid, the truly essential qualities of yourself that make you inherently loveable and worthy. These are the ones that, when we fail or when we feel like we’re not good enough, we can rest upon to give us the confidence and the true self-esteem to stay in a good place and to start moving forwards again. These are the ones that can’t be taken away from us regardless of our circumstances and of what happens “to” us in our lives. It’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of the next goal or the next accomplishment. But when we base our self esteem solely off of our accomplishments in the world–how much money we make, whether or not we’ve achieved a life milestone by a certain age, etc.–we can get pretty discouraged if our circumstances go awry. But if we can come back to those reasons why we are unconditionally deserving of love, we’ll be okay. Because those are the reasons that make up our true beauty.
What can you come up with for reasons to love yourself that can’t be taken away from you?