a yoga class, a realization, and coming back to what matters

continue

The theme for today.

Today I took a study break to have lunch with two of my friends (who I miss and wish I saw on a more regular basis, FTR). We got to gossiping and when I mentioned an admittedly petty frustration I’m having with a blog I would probably be better off avoiding reading follow—the blogger sometimes says one thing and then does another.

My friend (lovingly) pointed out something about which I am sure there’s a cliché out there about, but I’ll just spit it out: I think I am so irked by this blogger because I can be guilty of the same thing. The things that bother us or that we judge in other people being the things that we are in some way self conscious of about or in ourselves and as dedicated as I am to loving my body, getting off the diet train, and redefining and owning what healthy and happy mean to me, I still slip up.

For a number of reasons (a list I’ll keep to myself), this month feels extra stressful. Old habits die hard and I’m finding myself looking for ways to feel like I’m in control of my world and comfort in the old ways I used to “take care” of myself using food. At yoga tonight, I found myself looking in the mirror and thinking about how much I wished my “belly” wasn’t there.

Maybe it was the instructor’s emphasis on focusing on our core (I sometimes joke that I was born without abs because my core feels non-existant), but at any rate, I found myself fixating on my abs (or lack thereof). Shame on that and shame on what happened next, but I couldn’t get my mind off of that thought for the majority of class. That being said, there’s something powerful about being stuck in a room half naked when all you want to do is get out (or being “stuck” in any situation, really), and by the end of it all I’d sorted out my thoughts.

My (condensed) thought process looked like this: It’s not fair that I spend so much time exercising and/or thinking about training and/or what I’m going to eat or not eat but I still look like this. à I could stop working out so much. à I don’t think that’s the answer…I like the workouts I do now. à I could give up ____________ (coffee, peanut butter, the occasional grain (oatmeal, rice cakes) I’ve been eating again lately. à For every restriction, there’s an equal and opposite binge. And I’m sick of yo-yoing. à Then what is the answer? à Losing weight? à You’ve been there and done that. à What’s really wrong here?

Hmmph.

Needless to say, this isn’t an internal dialogue I feel like having anymore

So what is the answer?

It’s cheesy (but that’s kind of my style), but the yoga instructor said something midclass that sparked some new thoughts in my mind. After a particularly challenging series of postures, she asked us to replace thoughts of “that was hard” with an appreciation for the fact that every time we challenge our bodies and feel the sensations that go along with that, we’re getting stronger.

Well, I’d certainly call overcoming my dose of body shame a challenge—and shifting the focus to look at it as an opportunity to get stronger relieved some of the negativity I was feeling about “still” struggling with it.

I (re)realized a few things. There’s nothing wrong with my body. If I lose 20lbs, my life will be essentially the same. I will still be stressed about my assignments. I will still get lonely and miss my family. I will still question whether or not I am on the right track or if I should have went to journalism school. I will still have bills that I wonder how I’ll ever pay without my parents’ help. I will still feel self conscious when I’m naked. I will still argue with my mother over the same old things. People I know will still get sick and die before they should.

In short, regardless of what my body looks like or how much I weigh, life will still have its ups and downs. Downs and ups. All that can happen if I take the emphasis off of the shape of my body and keep on the path towards focusing on acceptance is finding more space to love the ups. It’s tough to appreciate all that’s awesome if you’re caught up on what’s bringing you down: I have assignments that challenge me. I have a family to miss. I always know that I can get into journalism school if I need to. I have my parents’ support while I figure out how to pay my own bills. I have a healthy body that carries me through life. My mother and I are close enough that we can argue about things. I am blessed to have a big circle of friends filled with people who have impacted me.

I’ve realized this and I’ve said it before, but what needs to change isn’t the size of my body—it’s my beliefs and my attitude about the size of my body. It’s the actions that I’m taking that aren’t really serving me, regardless of their bearing on my weight (using dieting as a coping mechanism, emotionally eating/distracting myself from my feelings, taking on too much at once, wearing stress like a badge of honour, etc. come to mind). These things might not be as easy to change as what I eat or how much I exercise, but they are the real issues. Losing weight for the sake of losing weight would be like grabbing a bandaid; making lasting change with these things it’s taken me so long to own up to (and maybe losing weight as a side effect of sorting them out–or not) gets at the real issues.

cheesy

Yoga is often like a touchstone for me and today, it really brought me back to what’s important. I found compassion for myself and my struggles and an appreciation for the ongoing process I’m working on. I found a way to get back to appreciating what’s good in my life and a bit more acceptance for where I’m at right now. l gave up some of the self judgment (and noticed some of the judgment I feel towards that other blogger slipping away) and took my focus onto what really matters to me. Rather than hating myself for being in that thought process, I realized that I’m loving (in the love-hate sense of the word) the opportunity to get stronger in what I stand for: finding the sweet spot where happy and healthy are at the max.

pretty!

Have you gone through a process of learning to love/accept your body? Were there ups and downs?
Do you find yoga helps you come back to your intentions? How do you centre yourself?
Do you think losing weight improves your life in grandiose ways? 

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Wireless-less wiaw

Soooo my apartment’s wireless is on the fritz which means you’re in for a treat: my attempts at blogging, emailing, and texting without autocorrects making something a laugh or two are pretty awesome.

For your sake, we’ll go mostly wordless on today’s! Good thing it’s a what I ate Wednesday…

Breakfast was eggs, spinach, and a sweet potato with almond butter/butter before laundry and chit chats with a friend. 🙂

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Lunch came after a noon workout–my fav time to train but not one that generally fits in my schedule–and a PR and was pork, cabbage, and a nanner with coconut and some butter. Yes, I do eat weird things. Yes, I’m okay with you judging me.

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After lunch came coffee time (it was social, don’t worry) and then I say myself down and got down to work editing and working on something that I totally forgot I needed Internet for tonight. I ended up needing more time than anticipated so I had to miss my interning at the gym. I made time for dinner-more pork this time with carrots alfalfa sprouts and almond butter-before playing instructor at bootcamp.

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After a long hot shower, some dark chocolate, and this here blog post, I’m zonked!

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Hopefully we get the wireless sorted out soon but for the meantime, I’m gong to enjoy the disconnect and read one of the many books I’ve been thinking about starting/finishing! 🙂 nighty night!

Happy halloweenie

This post has nadda to do with Halloween but I bet you giggled at “halloweenie” – no?

Maybe this will get you giggling then…

If that fails, this one compliments of my sister might do the trick…

Classy.

Other than those photos and a few pumpkin treats, there wasn’t much about my day that suggests it was Halloween. I’m not too upset…

I started my day sweaty, not spooky, with a session at crossfit. Deadlifting day is my fav and today was no exception! My 5RM is up to 215 and I managed to eke out 4 consecutive pull ups again today. That in itself would make for an accomplished morning but we also did rope climbs (love!) and the conditioning was 50 burpees for time or 3 minutes of awesome suck (3:06 to be particular)!

I popped into GFC to get checked and then was ready for a busy day. I also fuelled up with a banana and some raw almonds while I ran a few errands this morning.

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Does anyone else think raw almond suck? I’d much rather have them roasted. And roasted in a nut butter would be best…but in terms of overeating I’m sure it looks like this in terms of worst offenders: peanut butter (roasted, salted, sugary, hydrogenated, etc.) = all holds gone > roasted natural nut butter > roasted nuts > raw natural nut butter > raw nuts. Hmmm…

I think I’ve gone through a half a jar of almond butter this week and you’ll see why if I fill you in on my meals for the day:

  • breakfast: eggs (with coconut milk), almond butter, apple, dried cherries

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  • lunch: pork with kale, squash and raisins and cinnamon

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  • snacks: 2 almond flour muffins (one with chocolate, one with raisins) + a pumpkin cookie I didn’t snap a photo of (but my bootcampers and my fellow CrossFitters approved of my second go at my paleo pumpkin cookie recipe)

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  • dinner: pork chop and almond butter, straight out of the jar

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At least I know what I could have done better: less nuts, more veggies.

I spent the afternoon on campus talking to some of my former writing professors about journalism, grad school, and all that kind of jazz. It feels good to be moving forward with my applications–I’ve got a lot of work to do but I’ve done it before and I am excited to write them again! It also felt good to be on campus, even I dare say it to be in the library working on my next freelance article about the paleo diet and cycling. It’s due in a week so I’ve got to get an outline and a draft together soon–it’s not like I’ve got a whole lot of free time to work on it!

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I did some work but I definitely could have been productive. I got sucked into the Whole 9 website again and was reading all kinds of entries on it when I “shoulda” been working. Whatevs. Now I can share with you the link that got me sucked into the website…it was the blog “Lies We Tell Ourselves” and sheesh it was awesome. I clicked over to the posts about being addicted to stress, which really rocked my socks. I like that they include actionable things in their posts and that they’re personal about their writing. I like that The Whole 9 takes a big ol’ simple approach to things: either something makes you healthier or it doesn’t. Remember my realization that there’s no sideways/standing still in life? Same thing! What they talk about is a lot like Eat by Design and is probably the most user friendly stuff I’ve found in my reading. I have “It Starts With Food” and of all the “paleo-ish” books I’ve picked up, it might be my favourite recommendation for someone thinking about experimenting with their diet.

Anyways, now that I’ve rambled a bit…back to my day! I called it quits on campus mid-afternoon and came home to clean my apartment a bit. I was greeted by my level 1 certificate from CrossFit! I already knew that I’d passed but to have the certificate in the flesh feels pretty legit. 🙂

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This evening I made it to a Moksha Flow class across town by the gym where I teach bootcamp. It was a sweaty hot class (I’m aware this is obvious) and we did lots of hip openers in what felt like an “easier” flow class. I really can’t complain–I probably needed more of a yin class than anything today since I’m pretty sore! The time was perfect though and the owner of the studio was teaching (always a treat!) so this class could become a regular thing for me. I had just enough time to shower and to eat a nanner before I headed across the street (literally) to teach bootcamp. I put my recruits through a tabata workout today (squats, pushups, lateral jumping, running, step-ups or box jumps, and planks). They didn’t like me but I had the pumpkin cookies to win them back over once we had stretched and cooled down!

And now here I am…ready for bed. For a day off, today sure was busy! Tomorrow I’ve got plans to get writing, a bootcamp to teach, some shopping plans with a few lovely lady friends, and a workout in the mix. If I’m feeling too much writer’s block a yoga class in the evening (yin, maybe!) could be just what I need. 🙂

Have a happy halloween!

What’s your favourite kind of nut butter?
Did you do anything to celebrate Halloween?

Scattered

Back at it.

I’ve missed blogging. A lot. And without it, I feel a bit…scattered.

So hi…

Today is off to a great start. After an admittedly all over the place, somewhat emotional weekend, I’m glad to have a busy week with my new job and my crossfit cert at the end of it to just ooze awesome today. Add to it that it’s a crisp fall day and I’m getting back to my happy level again.

Workout

This morning I rolled out of bed after seriously considering crawling back under the covers (I had a hard time getting to sleep last night) and headed to Crossfit for a 7am class. We started with mobility (surprise surprise ;)!) and then did some squats and presses. I’m impatient so working on my ankle mobility, which is not something that will change overnight, is an exercise in patience. I used 95lbs for our three sets of five today but made sure I got full depth with the plates under my heels. The only way to get to where you wanna be is to start where you are…or something like that! We also did overhead presses (I used 55lbs for three sets of five) and a 7 minute WOD that was AMRAP of 5 pullups (ring rows for me), 10 pushups, and 15 air squats.

AM

This morning I officially started back at lululemon! And this morning was awesome. I had a short 3 hour shift where I signed my contract, reviewed some important stuff, and hung out/flexed my working skills for a bit. To be honest I didn’t really want to come home—and it’s not just because there was laundry here waiting for me—since the people (old faces, new faces) are so positive.

Today there was a lot of talk about goals. Did I mention I love working at lulu? I’m hoping to print my recently updated goals out – there’s a lot more emphasis on personal goals and a broader range of fitness/health goals this time around – later this week. One thing that I do have to admit is that when I hear other people talk about their goals, I kind of want to copy them. You cna look at this two ways — one, it’s inspiring vs. two, it’s insecurity (they’re doing it, I should do it too). While it’s awesome to let people rub off on you, if someone wants to run a marathon and you want to find a balance between yoga, crossfit, teaching spin and bootcamp, trail running, and doing exercise that feels good to you, adding a marathon training plan to your agenda is probably one of those things you’re doing for the wrong reasons…if I sign up for a marathon, puh-leeeeeze schmack me!

All that inspiration translated into me adding even more words to my vision board. I think it’s done, but I thought that the other day. If you haven’t made a vision board, do yourself a favour and make one. Then set some goals. Give yourself a vision to aim for, notice the kinds of images you pull out, and don’t be scared to be ambitious. Play some inspirational music in the background and light some candles while you’re at it…

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Breakfast

This morning’s breakfast was consumed at lightning speed in between Crossfit and lululemon. I wasn’t that hungry—which stressed me out since I feel like I overate all weekend long—but I could feel the hangry approaching so I suffered 😉 through my bacon, eggs, and kale. Toss in some caffeine and I’m set.

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Lunch

After my shift, I was craving something warm. I decided on a piece of chicken, some kale (which I neglected and put back in the fridge afterwards), and a sweet potato with cashew butter and coconut. Om nom nom.

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Now here I am ready to read some more of my crossfit manual (my cert is in four days which is ridiculous). I just watched a video that inspired me:

I took some notes yesterday when I was reading over the manual and the one thing I can’t get over is how much freaking sense the whole thing makes. I do have some questions—luckily there are plenty of knowledgeable people around to ask—and the one thing I have to look out for is questioning what I’m doing right now just because I’m reading things. The though that maybe I should plan my own workouts came to me…but for now I’m going to commit to easing into this with group workouts at Crossfit plus my own teaching schedule and the occasional trail run or swim here and there. Trusting that I’m not going to get out of shape or lose my fitness takes some reminders every once in a while but the best thing for me is to remind myself that when it comes to workouts, I should actually want to do them. Just ‘cuz I have an afternoon off doesn’t mean I should run, but if I want to, I can. Etc. etc.

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The other thing I’ve noticed is myself wanting to passive aggressively cut and paste parts of the training manual to certain people in my life (or in facebook status with the hopes that they’ll see it)…

“Curls, lateral raises, leg extensions, leg curls, flyes, and other body building movements have no place in a serious strength and conditioning program…A distinctive feature of these relatively worthless movements is that they have no functional analog in every day life…” 

The reminder here is that their business is their business and if that business is bicep curls, I shouldn’t read their blog anyways.

BAM.

I’m ending this with a quote that came to my inbox today just in time to comfort me…

“When we feel stuck, going nowhere — even starting to slip backward — we may actually be backing up to get a running start.” — Dan Millman

Happy Monday!

Do you find yourself copying other people’s goals out of “should”? How do you stop yourself?
What are you looking forward to this week?

 

 

Tired but inspired

“My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.”

Cary Grant quotes

Well howdy there!

As my title hinted, I’m tired but inspired–so this is the kind of tired, “I had such a kick butt day” that I think every day should be like…

We started our staff training today at the gym on campus. Since I’m teaching at campus rec this fall, I was in on this. I’m kind of a lifer now–and it feels cool to go back and see a whole new bunch of faces (cough *cute new boys* cough). The aquatics staff, events staff, memberships services, and fitness people all get together and do sessions that we have to (think computer sessions to teach us how to access info) and ones that we get to choose from (think workouts).

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I started my day off with leftovers from last night. I’ve commented before about how I don’t really differentiate too much between what I eat in the morning and at night (does it really make sense to only eat certain foods at certain times of the day, after all?), but I did add in an apple to today’s breakfast.

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Leftover beef, brussel sprouts, and onions in coconut oil + an apple

After a morning of info sessions, I was ravenous. I ate my lunch out of my lunchbox (hiding it) in the computer lab because I’m bad ass. FYI, stuffing your face with kale and sausage is not really discreet, but it is delicious.

Eating lunch before lunch time meant I had no problemo skipping out during our lunch break to hit up the (other) gym with one of my fellow fitness instructors. While everyone ate pizza, we sweat our butts off. Britt’s trying out for hockey so she’s all about squats and deadlifts, and I’m all about getting back into this so gosh it was perfect to have company for this trek!

After a few sets of each, we did a take on a workout from a crossfit site I’ve been poking around. For me: 15 tuck jumps / 7 modified pullups / 3 ground to overhead every 90 seconds for 15 minutes — it works out to 10 rounds if you’re not a mathlete. It also works out to mass quantities of sweat, dripping on the floor, arriving back at the gym stinking up a storm, and being far too happy to hop in the pool for an “Aquatic Adventure” (one of those optional sessions).

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And by hop in I mean get flipped in off a tube — we played a match of innertube water polo. Let me tell you–this was not only FUN but also pretty physical! I spent a lot of energy just trying not to fall off my tube OR trying to get back in it if I had and missing the net on my shots. I don’t “throw like a girl” but I could definitely improve! The moral of the story is: random sports are fun. I want to play more of them. Intramurals, anyone?

After all that splashing, the hungries came on hard at the end of the day so my afternoon snack was a “what the heck can I get in this hangry mouth right now” kind of situation. Almonds and then a banana with cinnamon on top fit the bill — easy, fast, good. 🙂

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Top it off with an americano between appointments and errands and you’ve got perfection! 20120829-211705.jpg

I managed to get to the grocery store to pick up some goodies (no labels here) and I am cooking up some chicken and salmon now so I’ll have food for a few days!

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I ended my night with the highlight of the day — dinner! It’s not the food that was awesome, although the salmon and salad was pretty bomb.

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Tonight was my second Life By Design 101 dinner. I brought a pal along with me today who’s interested in chiropractic and on the same health wavelength as a lot of what LBD talks about.

Last month, I said Dr. K did a really great job of introducing what LBD is about. But today, he was like a whole new level of rockstar! I haven’t seen so much passion and enthusiasm in one person since…the last time I talked to him? I’m not really kidding, but tonight he was on fire! I can’t wait for next month (who wants to join me?). I was sitting there smiling and thinking — I want to do this (lucky for me I have a vision and it’s in line with that…:)!).

In short, the dinner is an intro to what LBD is about — the chiropractic side of things, the thinking, eating, and moving.

For me, the refresher brought some new insight. I think a big part of this whole journey for me is waking up and being present. Getting to hear about something I’ve already heard about but from where I am now is a cool experience.

One thing that Dr. K stressed and that I even took the time to write down in my trusty notebook was that it all comes down to reality and responsibility. 

Building off of that, I’ve been thinking. I started to beat myself up for having heard this and not acted sooner. After talking about squats and my (poor) mobility, I had to shift my focus.

On that topic, I don’t have the greatest mobility. I don’t squat very deep. Dr. K suggested a wesbite to me, but as it was coming out of his mouth I already new what he was going to say (so of course I said it along with him)–mobilitywod.com. So if I know about it, I must be using it right?

Uhhhh. Not so much. Cue thinking by design and focusing on what’s strong and not on what’s wrong. My job isn’t to beat myself up over not doing something sooner. Like I talked about yesterday, you’ve got to be okay with where you are in order to improve. So instead of calling myself lazy I am recognizing how cool it is that I realized that I can do something about all of this and taking this increased consciousness as just another awesome side effect of what I’m doing — taking ownership (responsibility), for the way things are (reality).

Other conscious thinking today involved re-reading my vision, chatting, hearing LBD 101, and the reading I’m about to do! Last night I cracked Atlas Shrugged and now I’m ready to get back into it before I fall asleep.

Like I said, it was a tiring day, but the good kind of tired. Here’s to more days like this — filled with awesome! Let’s just say that I feel even more excited about what I’m doing. I feel connected to something bigger. I feel like I’m on fire by association–cuz I am! 😀

What’s something you neglect in terms of fitness that you could give more attention to?
Do you eat breakfast for dinner? What about dinner for breakfast?
Have you ever played innertube water polo?

Shopping, smiling, sweating, and switching

Hi again! You know I’ve got free time when you get THREE posts from me in one day…

I spent most of the morning at Starbucks plugging away on my random to-dos. So much for freelancing, but yay for crossing lots of my to do list!

After lunch, which I’d packed for the day, I took advantage of the air conditioned mall and did some damage at lululemon. Oops. Don’t you know a girl can never have too much spandex? Believe it or not I never had one of the no limits tanks that every girl who works there seems to own in multiple colours. So this was like a rite of passage for me PLUS I am teaching my butt off these days PLUS I can’t pass up this hot hot pink colour. So I got the cool racerback and the power y tanks in the same shade and I’ll return them if remorse sets in but somehow I don’t think it’s going to!

chard, sprouts, sirloin, and spicy mustard 🙂

I look good in pink, right? Just tell the Visa man that…

I smiled a lot when I got free chocolate from Laura Secord, even if it was probably on the verge of expiry from Valentine’s Day. Om nom nom things that are free taste better and chocolate really never tastes too bad to me!

I ran some more errands/dealt with some appointments and then had myself an early dinner (like 4:30pm grandma/grandpa style) so that I’d have time to digest before heading to the park for bootcamp. It was uber hot so I tried to find a workout that wouldn’t make anyone ACTUALLY pass out, even if it made them feel a little like they might ;).

kale, pork, dried apricots, and avocado

I came up with the following…

Warmup 

5-10 minutes walk/jog (around the park at own pace)

dynamic stretching (arm circles, hip circles, deep breaths, shoulder rolls, etc.)

Workout

1. Lower body circuit = 10 jump squats / 20 hamstring activations (10/side) / 30 reverse lunges with a leg lift (15/side) / 40 step ups / 50 body weight squats  –> repeat 2-3x

10 minutes run/jog

2. Upper body circuit = 5 plank walkouts with a pushup / 10 burpees / 15 decline pushups (feet on park bench) / 20 triceps dips / 25 super mans   –> repeat 2-3x

10 minutes jog/run

3. Core circuit = 45 seconds on/15 seconds off each of extended plank / plank up down / forearm plank / left side plank / right side plank / forearm plank

Cooldown/stretch

…but no one showed up! So I’ll be saving that for tomorrow! I ran into walmart really quickly to grab some batteries and some other random things I needed before I went to the gym. I got my workout on in the air conditioning and it wasn’t so miserable–I guess when you only hit the weight room every once in a while it’s not so boring any more. My workout was:

warm up (squats, lunges, high knees, jumping jacks)

circuit x 3 12 – 15 reps each of barbell squats, deadlifts, bent over rows, medicine ball swings, medicine ball slams, medicine ball pushups (passing the ball so one side is uneven), medicine ball roll ups, oblique twists with the medicine ball, and weighted crunches

spin class! 

So even though I had 0 participants at bootcamp I’m not too upset. It was something ridiculous like 40 million degrees outside anyways and I’m not taking it personally. Aren’t I resilient? I say that cuz in the past I’d take this as a fail–but now I’m taking it in stride instead.

I’m also smiling because this sad face I tried to fake to sum up the whole no participants thing proves that not only is happy healthier for me, it’s also way cuter.

NOT a good look for me!

And I’m smiling because I have a happy belly.

Post-spin, I snarfed some grapes and then started in on this bowl of yogurt with some chocolate when I realized I really wanted something chocolatier and was NOT feeling the yogurt.

So I put it away and whipped up a power ball — kind of like the ones I made earlier this year around Valentine’s day but without any real recipe or guide, just my belly as intuition. Rather than eating fake hershey kisses, why not toss together whole foods and good ingredients and enjoy something I made myself? Walking the walk! 🙂 Warning: if you’re scared of fat, these aren’t for you! But note: you shouldn’t be scared of eating fat! 🙂

In the mix: 1-2 spoonfuls each of ground flaxseed, coconut (unsweetened), maple syrup, cocoa, and cashew butter plus a pinch of salt!

As you can see, after mixing everything together and rolling the result into a ball, I rolled it in a bit more coconut. And tah-dah, a simple and delicious snowball dessert that hit the spot. It was actually pretty big even though this thing looks tiny. I used almost 2 tbsp of cashew butter (I forgot how good it is). It’s been a long time since dinner…

On the agenda for tonight: sleep, sleep, sleep! Tomorrow I have bootcamp, a life coaching session, and a bike ride to look forward to. Looks like I’ll have time to share the playlist from spin tonight as well as maybe get down to work on that freelancing stuff I meant to start today. Wish me luck, and cross your fingers that bootcampers realize the early bird gets the worm!

Where is somewhere in your life that you’ve learned to stop taking things personally?
Do you go to the gym in the summer?
Do you shop at lulu? What’s your fav tank?
What’s your favourite colour to wear?

PS – Steph and I made it onto the London Free Press’s article about yesterday’s yoga event! 🙂 How zen do we look (bottom row, I have the red top on and she had the pink pants that I loved and almost bought today).

 

Old and new

Howdy!

Reasons why I’m smiling:

  • sunshine
  • plans for a bike ride this afternoon
  • seeing a friend last night at spin class
  • it makes people think I’m up to something…

Still no internet at my apartment = an excuse for spending the morning at Starbucks. I was going to go to the gym and try a core class but to be honest, I would rather save my energy for the ride this afternoon and since my hip feels tight (not painful, just weird and unnerving because I’m a worrier), I’m just erring on the side of extra recovery.

And I had stuff to do…like finishing the Human Kinetics Advanced Exercise Nutrition course I registered for ages ago to get myself rectified as a fitness instructor/personal trainer. I wrote the exam this morning (online) and besides getting 2 questions/50 wrong, I have no complaints. I emailed the results and my up to date first aid card just now and I cannot wait to cross this off my to do list (it’s been on there for wayyy too long!). Yay for productivity.

Also yay for last night’s dinner–a pasta mix with kale that needed eating, turkey sausage, onions, and garlic. A little bit of butter and some parmesan cheese instead of sauce made for perfection on a plate!

This sat surprisingly well during my spin class! I also loved the playlist (which I kind of threw together just using songs I wanted to hear) and seeing an old friend (it’s been too long!).  Like I whined, I am apprehensive about my hip. During some of the standing climbs, things felt extra weird (my lower back is tight too, which makes sense). At the expense of being one of those people who complains too much, I’ll stop now. I foam rolled last night and I took the time to do my physio exercises for 10 minutes first thing today. 10 minutes. So pathetic that I’ve been too lazy to do them lately…PRIORITIES! Why was I saving them for bedtime when I would inevitably want to skip them and fall asleep? Silly.

When I got home last night, I was seriously uninterested in my usual yogurt snack. I was really interested in my leftover turkey, but I went with a snack of tuna instead because I really want leftovers today…

I mixed in half greek yogurt and half mayonnaise and threw some red pepper in to spice it up. I used to eat tuna as a snack every damn day and I was so sick of it for way too long…but when your mouth starts watering at the thought of something + you are legitimately hungry, I say go with it, even if it’s something weird or for me, something I thought of as an ED-approved behaviour (i.e. since ED said it was okay, I kind of during recovery said that I shouldn’t have it. silly! back to yesterday’s thoughts).

When I went to bed, I took some medicine because my throat’s been sore since I got home this weekend. I slept for about 9 hours (bliss) and then got up and started my day off with another bowl of oats. Breaking out of the cereal rut, one bowl at at time. This time I added an apple, raisins, walnuts, and brown sugar plus soy milk. Yum. I read Katie’s oatmeal ideas shortly after and wished I’d been MORE creative. The good news is I get to eat breakfast every day for a really long time, so there are plenty of opportunities to get creative and delicious!

After my morning spent working on that course and doing all kinds blog reading (I’m going through withdrawal, a little, because it’s not the same on my phone!) and drinking a ton of coffee, I ate a quick lunch (an almond butter, sprout, and carrot sandwich with extra carrots on the go) and now it’s time for me to head to an appointment! I’m hoping to meet up with a friend this afternoon before my bike ride. Tonight is a staff meeting at the gym so I’ll be busy busy and tomorrow I should have internet again. All will be right in the world.

And just an FYI, we’re 230 days from Christmas. Had to throw that in there…

What are your favourite oatmeal toppers?
What are you counting down to? 

Life is messy

Today ended up being a bit counter productive, but in the long run, these days are important.

I had an awesome rainy run this morning on the trails. I got lost a little and found myself walking a tree like a tight rope to get back to a path. It happens, and when it does you realize running on the road is oh so boring. I had Garmin issues and I was a soggy rat but I was smiling.

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My lunch was uber early since I worked up an appetite on the trails. Warning: this picture is terrible. But it’s a turkey and cheese sandwich with sprouts and mayo (no surprises here) and an apple.

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After lunch a hurricane hit my apartment, or maybe I tore everything out of my hallway and bedroom closets/drawers?  I worked away on it all afternoon, but I took a break to meet with a prof (about doing my Masters, but that will have to wait until after my nutrition degree is done and who knows what I’ll be passionate about by then, but still cool and I really did enjoy sociology so…I’m keeping my options open! RD with a Masters in Food Sociology? Does that exist? Maybe…or maybe I’ll have to pioneer it) and to have a session with my counsellor, which was a lot about the voices in my head. If that’s not stereotypical of a shrink session, what is? I’m just kidding…but seriously. I wrote down the things that my dominant (the disempowering voice I hear so much) voice (right now) says — things like “you’re meant to be fat. you’re not pretty enough. you’ll always be single. you’re lazy” — and the things my empowering voice says — “your deserve all the good in the world. you’re perfect. you are beautiful. you’re smart.” — and then committed to at least trying to entertain this positive voice more in my life. There’s a good goal if I’ve ever set one!

Anyways, I made some good progress in my apartment as the before/after below will show:

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I also took a break for a snack that I didn’t get a photo of (I was hungry): Kashi organic wheat biscuits and peanut butter. Random but delicious. The ingredients list for the cereal is literally wheat, sugar, and natural flavours. Simple, yummy, easy!

And I whipped up a good dinner with some of the ingredients I know I should eat up before I go away for the week: a spinach salad with acorn squash, turkey, and cranberries (there was maple dressing in the mix, of course, and a few pecans). I think this is the first time I didn’t eat my acorn squash cut in half with a spoon. It was awesome so expect to see me spice it up with squash from now on.

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After spin tonight (the class was awesome — I used almost the same playlist as Friday since I was at a different gym but I changed the order around a bit since hindsight is 20/20), I was hungry!

My snack is more delicious than beautiful: a banana with peanut butter and coconut and chocolate chips. You know there were a few extra licks of peanut butter and I’m not really going to be ashamed to admit that.

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Now it’s time for me to:

a) sleep

b) read blogs

c) work on my summer to do list

d) clean

e) work on my freelance assignment

f) foam roll

I think b) is going to win. Then a), of course (I made sure my bedroom is clean so I have a nice place to crash soon). I’m reminding myself I’ll be able to write from my Grandma’s with my downtime and that my article isn’t due for another week (and I already have sources!) and trying not to let the anxious “you’ll never get it done” voice rule when I have never not gotten it done before…so there!

It’s impossible to believe that tomorrow is May, and I’m going to go ahead and set goals:

  • find my empowering voice — and write down what it says at least once a day
  • act like the person I want to be — i.e. get dressed in clothes that fit now and make me feel good, not in comfy clothes so I can work out or in clothes that are uncomfortably tight just to prove I can; eat things that I picture a healthy, happy version of me eating (not the same thing day after day) in a way that I would do so in front of people (i.e. chew?); take the time to take care of myself and my things (i.e. do my laundry and put it away where it belongs, do my dishes every night so I don’t wake up feeling lazy, paint my nails, etc.)
  • do more workouts with friends and outside (if this is an option, take it!)
  • do one thing every week just for the sake of fun (I played my violin the other day and as rusty as I was, it was bliss)
  • for every magazine I bring in, take two out (I have a problem in the form of hundreds of magazines)
  • make a vision board (I have wanted to do this for so long–who’s in?! for real!)
  • eat dessert with friends at least once a week (or more, but at least!)
  • read more books (before bed, when I’m “bored”, and when I’m killing time–rather than just texting, reading random things online, or worrying that I should be doing something productive)
And now methinks I should call it a night! I’ve got a bunch of cleaning to finish up tomorrow, a bike ride with a friend to look forward to (hoping for sunshine!), and maybe a yoga class if I’m feeling good. Oh, and errands. And packing. And smiling. Busy!

Have your set any goals for yourself lately? Care to share?
Do you hear different voices in your head? Any tips for listening to the “nice” one?
What’s your favourite way to eat squash?

 

Off to a good start

Happy Saturday!

The rest of yesterday went fast and was filled with fun.

The spin class at campus rec was fun to teach–Chelsea made it out, which always makes things more fun, and the mic worked. Bonus.

After class, Ellen and Angela came over to eat dinner/get ready for our evening on the town. I made BBQ chicken, potatoes, and salad, which tasted great with good company and good wine!

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Our night out was fun, but a little bittersweet since a bunch of people are leaving (for the summer mostly, but Nina is done and Western and that brings a tear to my eye because I love her to death!).

We tried to ease the pain with tequila…

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JK. But that did happen!

So did lots of dancing, staying out way past our bedtimes, and plenty of fun.

I managed to sleep in til 10 today (a miracle for me!). I finally got up and had some breakfast, coffee with Angela, and then headed for my run.

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Of course I forgot to start my Garmin, but that makes my time unofficial (but trust me, my pace was slow). I took it to the trails along the river here. Best. Decision. Ever. It was gorgeous and nice to get out of the “how fast are these miles” kind of trap and to the “omg I better leap over this tree trunk”…I love trails! I won’t lie though, I had to sit on a branch and crawl over it on two occasions…it happens!

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When I got home I stretched and did a quick circuit 3x through: 25 sit ups, 20 kettle bell swings, 15 pushups, 10 squats, and 5 burpees. FYI burpees the day after you party a little too hard feel even more awesome than normal…

After a shower my stomach was growling so I had a late lunch (turkey and alfalfa sandwich with cheese and mayo plus some pickles).

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Tonight my mom’s coming for a visit and I have plans to see “The Five Year Engagement” — I hope it’s as funny as it looks in the previews. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the movies so I’m really looking forward to it.

How are you spending your weekend?
Do you like running on trails?  

 

 

Short and oh so sweet

Well, I am home from my trip to Toronto.

It was short, and as you saw, oh so sweet! Lots of wine, lots of chocolate, lots of catching up.

I thought I’d be exhausted after the double dose of spin I got into in the morning–yeah, I’m hooked again on spin classes! There’s a reason why I became an instructor and bought a bike in the first place, and I’m remembering it this week. Also, there was one of my fav instructors back after having a baby so staying for her class after a seriously sweaty and awesome one by another really awesome teacher’s was easy. 🙂

The drive to Toronto was easy too–I had company from Mel and Nina, which made it fly by!

When I got there, Bonnie and I headed for massages. Like something out of Austin Powers, but awesome. It’s tradition!

Our friends who are in Toronto for chiropractic school joined us for a long overdue reunion, dinner, and wine!

With the wine drinking and awesome company came a really amazing conversation. The kind that makes you want to smile for the next few days (I’m in perma-grin mode, despite a hangover). We talked about a lot but some questions really struck awesome insight:

  • What holds you back/has held you back?
  • What does your life look like in 10 years?
‘Twas awesome. I’m realizing more and more how cool the people in my life are and how this happy, positive wavelength I seem to be riding is contagious (or I’ve just been ignoring the fact that it’s out there until now!).
I blame it a bit on buying this book for Bonnie for her birthday (on Angela’s suggestion)–“Four regular guys on a mission to complete a list of ‘100 Things To Do Before You Die’ and to help and encourage others to go after their own lists.”
You know we ate this up!
It also sparked my own mental summer to do list, which I started today as I drove back to London (after breakfast, of course).

Sneak peak of the summer 2012 (epic?) to do list, which I think will be worth a page of its own on here:

  • feed ducks – starting it off with a bang 😉
  • go on a roller coaster
  • beat everyone up a mountain on my bike
  • bike to sarnia
  • watch a sunrise
  • sleep under the stars
  • do a mud run
  • write for a new magazine
  • trail run
  • go on a road trip
  • meet someone famous
  • do yoga on the beach
  • try long boarding
  • go to an outdoor concert
  • eat something I grow
  • bake with flour from Arva – it’s close and it’s supposed to be delicious!
  • go sailing
  • go boogie boarding 🙂
  • ride a century
  • ride a tandem bicycle
When I got back to London (after two pit stops and a snack), I met up with friends for a swim! We did about 2400m, which felt okay (considering Bonnie and I got only a few hours of sleep after talking our hearts out at bedtime!).
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After the swim, I was ravenous. Repeat of yesterday’s turkey sandwich, loaded with sprouts and tomatoes (I’m craving veggies)!

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This afternoon I spent at Starbucks, working away on a freelance assignment and trying to sort out the continuing education credits I need to get this month to keep my fitness certification current. Progress!

Now it’s nearly time for me to head to yoga with my friends!

How’s your week going?
What’s on your summer to do list?